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23 June 2006
Bacic Fansite > Multimedia > Words > Andromeda Words >

Jadedgirl and Julie's Rhade for Dummies

Rhade For Dummies - Now With Pretty Pictures! (Warning: Spoilers!)

Normally, I would probably come up with some cutesy introduction to break the ice and cut the treacle but I figured that it would waste your time and mine so I will do us all a favor and just get to the good stuff.

Whether you are new or practically have built a shrine to either Rhade (or the actor who plays them both), this should be a joy for all of you. For those who are new (or those who just like to cheat when it comes to the spoilers), this is a small guide of what to expect - and for the rest of us … well … you might get a cheap chuckle from the jokes.

It’s a simple premise: I give the official description of the episode (thanks to the good folks at the Andromeda official episode guide), then tell you what they don’t, followed up by a small review and grade, finalized by second opinion in the same manner. See, real easy.

The grading system is simple as well-Thumbs Up (if it was actually a good episode), Watch For Rhade (if he was the only good thing about the episode … pretty much the Thumbs Middle) or Thumbs Down (in other words, if it was so bad that even Steve couldn’t save it). I will be covering both Rhades in their own respective sections to make things easier.

Warning: If you have not seen any of these episodes and you want to be surprised, stop at the point where you have seen the episode (it’s in airing order) or right here, right now. Other than that, enjoy.

Gaheris Rhade episodes:

1x1 - Under The Night:

Episode Synopsis: Captain Dylan Hunt and his ship the Andromeda Ascendant are rescued by the Eureka Maru, an opportunistic salvage ship, after being trapped in the event horizon of a black hole for 300 years.

In Other Words: Get frozen by a singularity and have to reshape the galactic order. A full series’ work.

Jadedgirl’s Review: The one that started it all, it also began a following for a certain character no one expected to see again-considering that he gets killed off within the first forty minutes. But as they say in science fiction … never say die. Anyway, for a pilot it was a good episode for those Andromeda fans that would consider the first season “the good season”. It explained everything and set up the rest of the season very well. A must for any Rhade fan or just a fan of the show (obviously).

Julie's Addition: If you love to hear Rhade or Steve's voice, this episode is for you

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Up

1x05 - Double Helix:

Episode Synopsis: Captain Dylan Hunt must save the Andromeda from the Nietzscheans, who are trying to persuade Tyr to help them destroy the ship and rebuild his Nietzschean life. His new life would include a wife to carry on his lineage.

In Other Words: Tyr came, Tyr saw, Tyr got some, Tyr left.

JG’s Review: For an episode that only had Gaheris in it for about five minutes, it was still very good. Basically the “everything you’ve ever wanted to know about Nietzscheans but were afraid to ask” episode. It was a well written episode and the guy who played Guderian was hot - an extra added bonus.

Julie's Addition: A must see if you want to hear Rhade or Steve talk dirty Nietzschean style while Tyr and Freya get ... personal.

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Up

1x15 - Forced Perspective:

Episode Synopsis: Dylan is taken captive and forced to admit that he killed the Mobius leader and overthrew the Mobius government more than 300 years ago.

In Other Words: Some people really know how to hold a grudge - and that flashbacks are a great way to reintroduce a dead character that was really cool.

JG’s Review: Another good episode where for once Dylan was not the superhero and that he had to rely on someone else for help (something that we all miss). Once again the writing was crisp and well done and the story was complex-something else we all miss.

Julie's Addition: Nice back story on Gaheris and Dylan's history together

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Up

2x08 - Home Fires:

Episode Synopsis: A stranger with a message from Dylan's long-dead fiancée arrives onboard Andromeda, leading the crew on a diplomatic mission.

In Other Words: Two Rhades for the price of one

JG’s Review: Another great way to bring back someone that the fans like-bring him back as someone else. At least it’s not an evil twin … just a genetically identical descendant that was physically reincarnated that is not evil … just conflicted. Yeah, it’s strange for me too. However, ignoring that little fact it is still a very good episode. Having Telemachus be someone who doesn’t completely see eye to eye with Dylan’s view yet is on the same side is a nice touch and the twist at the end was pretty good. Gaheris coming back in flashbacks (again) was also a nice comparison as well. Either way, it’s nice having twice the Steve in one episode. It’s probably nice for him as well since he probably got paid more (maybe).

Julie's Addition: Hooray for double Steves! If you like Steve, whether or not you care for Andromeda, you should still see this episode. Several times.

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Up

3x10 - The Unconquerable Man:

Episode Synopsis: Gaheris Rhade sets out to reshape the universe according to his will and restore order amid the chaos.

In Other Words: He’s back in black and in charge (why it had to go back to the way it was before I still don’t understand)

JG's Review: Not to say this just because I’m a Rhade fan, but this episode in my opinion was easily the best one of Season Three if not the whole series. Now you may disagree or debate with that opinion but it’s hard to debate that this was an excellent episode. To turn a character that one thought had one set of intentions and completely turn it around and show a different side and depth to a recurring character and in the process make him a hero (and in some respects better than the main character) … that’s just good writing. A must for any Gaheris Rhade fan and probably some of Steve’s best work to date.

Julie's Addition: I'm not ashamed to admit that I cheered at the end of the teaser. Steve had said that this is his favorite Andromeda episode. Everyone should see this. Many times.

Grade: Thumbs up … way up
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Up

5x17 - Totaled Recall:

Episode Synopsis: Dylan finds himself trapped after an explosion sends him into an inter-dimensional loop.

In Other Words: Another double dose of Rhades and Dylan has the weirdest trip ever.

JG's Review: While this episode was not as good as Gordon Michael Woolvett’s previous work “Abridging The Devil’s Divide” (which is reviewed below), it did have its high points. Firstly, both of the Rhades are in this episode (more or less) and secondly, you got to see Dylan repeatedly killed over and over again (only in his mind though). It was a creative idea but the execution could have been a little better. However, it is still one of the best episodes of Season Five and worth watching.

Julie's Addition: It's always nice to see Gaheris again, whatever he may look like. And having Kevin Durand as the main guest star is a definite plus

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Up

Telemachus Rhade episodes:

2x8 - Home Fires:

See Gaheris Rhade’s episodes section. Steve appeared more as Telemachus Rhade so I figured giving this one and Totaled Recall to Gaheris would even things out more.

4x06 - Soon The Nearing Vortex:

Episode Synopsis: An encounter with ex-crew member Tyr Anasazi brings revelations about the universe

In Other Words: Telemachus Rhade is on full time...all Rhade, all the time.

Julie's Rebuttal: I wouldn't say all Rhade, all the time. Unless you edit out all the non-Rhade scenes (which I usually do-JG)

JG’s Review: This episode represented a double-edged sword of sorts. Firstly, Keith Hamilton Cobb had left the show as a regular and they needed someone to replace him and bringing back a familiar face was a good call. However, this season was where the show was really sliding creativity and writing wise (many fans believe it started when Robert Hewitt Wolfe left including this one) and it began to show. It had changed so much that it wasn’t the same show anymore. Back to the matter at hand … it was good to see Steve again and while this episode also introduced some changes in his character as well (demoting him and making him an outlaw along with the rest of the crew), Rhade was a welcome change. It was just a shame that the same could not have been said for the rest of the episode. Watch for Steve and sing the “Welcome Back, Kotter” theme song in your head while you do.

Julie's Addition: It's certainly nice to have Steve as a regular. It's a travesty what they did to Rhade. The former Admiral of the Tarazed Homeguard, commander of a planetary fleet has been reduced to a sidekick needing to learn from a mere captain of one ship.

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie's Grade: Watch For Rhade

4x07 - The World Turns All Around Her:

Episode Synopsis: Trance's true nature is revealed after the crew explores an ancient portal in space.

In Other Words: Tyr gets killed off and we all feel a little cheated.

JG's Review: This episode was not … well…it felt a little off. Firstly, Tyr’s death was a total letdown and cheat. For someone who was a well liked anti-hero and character, the way he met his death was a little … undignified, even for one who turned to the dark side. Falling off a cliff? Come on! Secondly, they kill off the Abyss and then they don’t. Yeah…pretty lame. Thirdly, Trance is a sun … and while although that was not a total surprise (and probably the only thing about her that they stuck with from RHW’s ideas) it was still kind of silly and unoriginal to make her an avatar (read a little book called The Dosadi Experiment…Frank Herbert did it first). Who knows? Maybe it’s because I thought she had become a little too weird and cheery for my taste. Another watch for Rhade episode where you can see him in tight shirts.

Julie's Addition: Watch for the Rhade-Harper comedy show. Those two are pretty funny together

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie's Grade: Watch For Rhade

4x08 - Conduit To Destiny:

Episode Synopsis: Fate brings Dylan full circle to fulfil a planet’s destiny three hundred years in the making.

In Other Words: Dylan plays superhero, makes everyone else look pointless and saves another planet. Joy.

JG's Review: I have to be honest with you, folks…I don’t remember much of this episode and there’s probably a reason why. Rhade doesn’t do much other than be Dylan’s sidekick and wears a tight red shirt while doing so. To me, this is just another bland Andromeda episode where Dylan does something that saves everyone and then leaves. Fast forward to the scenes with Rhade in them and skip the rest. Proof that prophecy is rather overrated sometimes.

Julie's Addition: Watch Dylan beat up on an old woman (doesn’t he do that in The Spider’s Stratagem as well? -JG)

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie's Grade: Watch For Rhade

4x09 - Machinery Of The Mind:

Episode Synopsis: The crew thwarts an assassin’s attempt to steal the minds of the Commonwealth’s most brilliant scientists.

In Other Words: A bunch of smart people get together, Harper saves the day and the Abyss finds a loophole. Rapture.

JG's Review: This episode was actually pretty good for what it was. It’s nice to see an episode centered on Harper instead of the others (I don’t count Telemachus because they never really gave him an episode centered around him), which are usually the best ones anyway. It was simple, effective and enjoyable to watch. One of the better episodes of the season.

Julie's Addition: For the fans of the new Battlestar Galactica, here's Boomer!

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Up

4x10 - Exalted Reason, Resplendent Daughter:

Episode Synopsis: Dylan hunts down a notorious outlaw who has kidnapped a Commonwealth leader’s daughter.
In Other Words: Who cares about the episode? You get to see Rhade in a see through mesh shirt. Nipple alert!

JG's Review: This is another episode that started an intentional subplot involving one of the characters but never followed up on it. Other than that, it was just another Romeo and Juliet type story with an evil father, Dylan saves the day and everything is right as rain until the next episode. But like I stated earlier… who cares about all of that? This episode really proved that see through clear mesh and tight leather pants make a lethal combination on a guy like Steve. Meow.

Julie's Addition: The interplay between and Beka and Rhade is excellent in this episode. A lot of fun quips and banters. Who cares about the main storyline? Just watch Beka and Rhade together. And that mesh tank top.

Unresolved Issue: Beka’s mother being a Senator.

Grade: Watch for Rhade
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Up

4x11-The Torment, The Release:

Episode Synopsis: Dylan is arrested and tried by the Collectors and Triumvirs for high crimes against the Commonwealth

In Other Words: A dressed up excuse for a clip show

JG's Review: A meh episode at best. This also had another unresolved issue with the Collectors and it didn’t do much of anything to add to what was all ready there. At least I got a nice chuckle of Rhade doing that silly fight posing before he kicked some butt. Sadly though, it wasn’t enough. This one gets an unimpressed Roman emperor (read the Grade)

Julie's Addition: Was there an episode? Are the Triumvirs mute and dumb? What exactly does Pish mean?

Unresolved Issue: The Collectors

Grade: Thumbs Down
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Way Down

4x12-The Spider’s Stratagem:

Episode Synopsis: The crew intercepts a smuggler’s stash of mysterious bio-armor on its way to a war-torn galaxy.

In Other Words: Dylan gets some action (again) and it proves that you shouldn’t wear something that is considered dangerous

JG's Review: Another forgettable episode. It had a stupid premise and it made all the characters look silly-especially Beka, who learned that maybe you’re better off not getting it on with the main character. I also didn’t like the fact that Rhade wasn’t allowed to put up more of a fight against Beka during their little fight scene. I know she’s been enhanced and all but come on-make it a little more believable and being a Nietzschean a little more credible (of course, they haven’t been taken seriously since the second season). I tried to give it a chance but it was just too silly.

Julie's Addition: I see they didn't destroy the salt-sucking monster costume from the original Star Trek. A good point: Rhade's teeth. How often do you get to see all 32 of them? Another good point: the High Guard force lance. Did you know it can shoot a grappling hook and has a cable over 100 feet long stored inside it? Oh, and never sneak up on a sleeping (or so you think) Rhade.

Grade: Thumbs Down
Julie's Grade: Watch For Rhade

4x13-The Warmth Of An Invisible Light:

Episode Synopsis: Dylan is transported to an alternate reality where Harper’s evil counterpart has overthrown the Commonwealth

In Other Words: Rhade is evil in the required “alternate universe” episode

JG's Review: Despite a couple of the unresolved issues, it wasn’t as bad as I expected it to be. Seeing Rhade and Harper be bad was actually kind of cool and the fact that Dylan couldn’t save everyone in an hour was also a relief. Definitely worth checking out.

Julie's Addition: See Rhade as Harper's whip boy. 'Nuff said.

Unresolved Issues: Firstly, Harper’s “wife”. They implied that he would hook up with someone later on and it never happened. Secondly … actually, this is more of a question. If the alternate Trance were a different sun than Tarn Vedra, wouldn’t this Trance’s sun be that same sun as well? Maybe it was a different Trance. Who knows?

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie's Grade: Watch For Rhade

4x14 - The Others:

Episode Synopsis: The crew steps in to mediate an apocalyptic war in order to halt genocide and cure a fatal disease.

In Other Words: It’s not easy ripping off Star Trek - but at least Methos is around to help

JG's Review: Steve Bacic and Peter Wingfield in the same episode at the same time … you can’t beat it (I swear to the gods, Peter does not age or at least if he does, he does it very well). Also, giving Rhade something to do didn’t hurt either (more screen time for Steve) but my only problem with this episode is that Dylan still saved the day and figured everything out - even when he’s sick and dying. It would have been better if Rhade, Harper or Beka did it. It would have made more sense. One nice touch was that you never find out whether the people on the planet save themselves or kill each other instead (I’m leaning toward the latter). You (and Yu) make the call.

Julie's Addition: I'll bet they build a new wall on that planet. Lots of Rhade screen time. Rhade in flight suit. Rhade tied up in a bag. Steve and Peter in the same scene. And for the new Battlestar Galactica fans, here's Dualla, hissing and spitting at Methos. At least she didn't bite Dylan.

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Up

4x15 - Fear Burns Down To Ashes:

Episode Synopsis: The Collectors trap Dylan in a life or death test using a former crew member as bait.

In Other Words: Rev Bem is back-and he looks different

JG's Review: Dylan, Dylan, Dylan…it’s all about Dylan. Also, the who Beta-A’s thing was kind of weird and lame and they never said what happened to Rev Bem. Also, is it just me or did they have to find the woman the biggest boobs and stick her on the show with the lowest cut clothing? Either way, I really didn’t get into this episode much.

Julie's Addition: Good thing #1: Rhade shaking off dirt. Good thing #2: "A pop of pure Nietzschean".

Unresolved Issue: Rev Bem, of course. The ultimate unresolved issue on this show.

Grade: Thumbs Down
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Down

4x16 - Lost In A Space That Isn’t There:

Episode Synopsis: The Andromeda is put in danger when the Abyss possesses the mind of a crew member.

In Other Words: There’s a traitor on the ship and we get more clips from past episodes.

JG’s Review: I think this was at the point of the show where it was either Trance or Dylan who ended up saving everyone else and resolving the issues all the time. It wasn’t a bad episode … it just could have been better. Beka can never save herself while someone else always has to do it for her. It was cute at first but at this point it just got tiring. A good effort … just not good enough.

Julie's Addition: Rhade expresses mixed feelings about Beka. One involves an airlock.

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie’s Grade: Watch For Rhade

4x17 - Abridging The Devil’s Divide:

Episode Synopsis: An enemy from the crew’s past forces Harper to build a time travel device

In Other Words: The dirty episode where Rhade is shirtless for two thirds of the episode. Oh, and there’s a good storyline in there too.

JG’s Review: This is the episode where everyone pretty much assumed that Steve was now the hot piece of man meat on Andromeda and announced it with a vengeance - with all of us reaping the rewards of that decision. Other than the skin, it was still a very good episode and easily the best one of Season Four. It gave Harper and Rhade some depth and most of the screen time plus it had a bittersweet ending. This is the best of the episodes that GMV wrote for the show. A can’t miss for the Rhade fan.

Julie's Addition: Excellent writing for this episode. The extras actually get lines! An evil Michael Ironside (oh, yeah!) and Chevron Man saying something other than "Chevron (number) encoded." Of course you can't miss Rhade's clothes getting torn off him at lance point

Grade: Thumbs up high
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Way Up

4x18 - Trusting The Gordian Maze:

Episode Synopsis: The Triumvirate sends a beautiful spy to tempt Dylan and retrieve the Star Map

In Other Words: Yet another episode where most of the storyline is just Dylan sleeping with some chick to achieve his ends. Yeesh.

JG’s Review: Thank goodness for Rhade. He was the only good point about this episode … well, okay him and Peter DeLuise. It’s always nice to see him. Other than that, I thought the episode was rather trite and the fact for the hero of the show, Dylan can be a real dick sometimes. Isn’t it the point to make the hero likeable? Didn’t work here.

Julie's Addition: Rhade is quite cute in this episode. So are Shakespeareanly insane husband and wife Peter DeLuise and Anne Marie Loder (also married in real life). Dylan and Xicol who? I was too busy enjoying Calvino, Astrid, and Rhade to notice the others. Did I mention Rhade's growl at the beginning of the episode?

Unresolved Issues: Indra Xicol’s fate (When one is stuck permanently in the slip stream maze, does one need to eat or go to the bathroom?-Julie)

Grade: Watch For Rhade (and his antics … rather cute in this episode)
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Up

4x19 - A Symmetry Of Imperfection:

Episode Synopsis: Rommie’s emotional decisions sever her connections with the ship’s systems, leaving the Andromeda vulnerable to a Magog attack.

In Other Words: Rommie suffers an identity crisis and Rhade gets stuck to the ceiling

JG’s Review: A good episode where being Nietzschean actually pays off for once. Lexa Doig was given the chance to shine and she did not disappoint - so much so that her presence would be sorely missed the next season. A definite watcher.

Julie's Addition: Lexa was excellent. Rhade wasn't cold. Rhade stuck to the ceiling spurs fantasies. The storyline was somewhat irritating. Harper screws up. Imagine that. Computer does what it's programmed to do. Yay.

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie's Grade: Watch For Rhade

4x20 - Time Out Of Mind:

Episode Synopsis: The Abyss sends agents to murder the True Collectors and find their hidden library

In Other Words: Rhade’s jumpsuit makes a return and everyone takes some sort of vacation from themselves

JG’s Review: This episode was kind of a waste from the beginning. Anything that was introduced in this episode never developed and the premise in itself was once again rather silly. Another problem was that it would set the tone for some of Beka’s storyline to come. The only good thing about this episode was the VR scenario that Harper was trapped in … a parody of the show within the show. That should have been the whole episode - at least then it would have been somewhat decent.

Julie's Addition: It's nice to see the True Collectors and their archives. I'd love to have access to archives like those. Wezlow, Aaron Douglas, was cute. The VR story "Andromeda Unleashed" was hilarious. We need more of that. For the new Battlestar Galactica fans, here's Boomer...I mean...Chief!

Unresolved Issues: Beka’s past, her father and that dang bell

Grade: Thumbs Down
Julie's Grade: Watch for Rhade and Aaron

4x21 - The Dissonant Interval-Part One:

Episode Synopsis: The crew attempts to rescue a peaceful society from the path of the Magog worldship.

In Other Words: Rhade finds a girlfriend and if it wasn’t bad enough to make Dylan like a superhero - now they have to make him godlike as well. Oy.

JG's Review: I will safely say now that I never liked the idea of the Paradine. It was ridiculous and it was never used well. Other than that I tried to like Louisa but as soon as Rhade and her hooked up you knew she wasn’t going to last long. By the way, did she say that her family was around for 187 generations? I thought the Nietzscheans were only around for 16? Also, I don't think even the Commonwealth itself was around 18,700 years give or take a few decades, so how could the Nietzcheans? It's all so head spinning. Beka leaving them for good would have worked if you hadn’t known from the beginning that she would have a change of heart. It was good for set-up and that was pretty much it.

Julie's Addition: Arkology: Ideal society … meet Magog: Ideal destroyers … meet Dylan: Idealistic god.

Grade: Watch for Rhade and see him turn into a big mush ball
Julie's Grade: Watch for Rhade and listen to beautiful music

4x22 - The Dissonant Interval-Part Two:

Episode Synopsis: The crew makes a last stand against the Magog onslaught

In Other Words: Grab a hankie…there’s going to be a lot of angst.

JG’s Review: And I was right. Anyway, seeing Rhade kick more butt is always good and seeing him shed a tear in his last scene as the pragmatic Rhade was even better. You knew he would change after that. This episode was meant to be the series finale (and other than seeing Rhade again it probably should have stayed that way) and it showed. It was just a bummer that it would be the last time we would ever see the Magog and the World Ship and that ending was just confusing. A decent lead in for the last season but since it wasn’t much of a season, you should wonder whether that’s a good thing or not.

Julie's Addition: This episode is considered the series finale for a lot of people. Goodbyes were said. Lights were turned off. It ended on a solid note, no puns intended. It had some dignity.

Unresolved Issues: The Magog

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie’s Grade: Watch For Rhade and listen to more beautiful music

5x01 - The Weight, Part One:

Episode Synopsis: Upon discovering the truth of planet Seefra-1, Dylan must free its people and reunite his crew.

In Other Words: Dylan returns to his home sweet hell and Rhade becomes scruffy and jaded. Good times all around.

JG's Review: Whoever said it was better to have loved and lost never met Telemachus Rhade. Ignorance is bliss.
Anyway, this is probably the only good episode Bob Engels ever wrote for this show. This episode also introduced us to another hottie in Ocham Sembler (further proof that some Canadian men are hot) and came full circle since the season now took place on Tarn Vedra and it’s surrounding planets. Rhade got real sexy and angsty and it was refreshing for the rest of the crew to not embrace Dylan and give him the proverbial middle finger. Also the scruffy look with the leather was hot. The first of the few good episodes of this season.

Julie's Addition: Sci-Fi TV returns to its roots: Westerns! If you haven't noticed, the original Star Trek was a western, with western actors, using space as the environment instead of the dusty Old West. On Seefra we have the local saloon, the dusty streets, the run down buildings, the local baddie in charge, and the dusty locals. Then in comes the new sheriff and his sidekick, and out goes the baddie in charge. Sounds like a brand new adventure in the works. Promising. Angsty Rhade is quite a change from the sycophantic Rhade in season 4. All that hair!

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Up

5x02 - The Weight, Part Two:

Episode Synopsis: Dylan and Rhade pick up a distress signal from Beka only to find her scheming with a trade mogul who has claimed Andromeda for himself.

In Other Words: They find the ship … and Beka too.

JG's Review: This was the season where the first part of the two-parter episodes were better than the second. This episode had its moments but for the most part was rather dull but it did show traces of the old Beka. However, it really didn’t specify how long Trance was there as the Core … was it ten years as Jonah said it was because that would means she was there the longest. Eh … a lot about this season didn’t make any sense so why should that?

Julie's Addition: Poor Rhade. No one listens to him. Poor Beka. Still a bad judge of characters.

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie's Grade: Watch For Rhade

5x03 - Phear Phactor Phenom:

Episode Synopsis: The crew reunites with Harper when they confront a scientist bent on controlling the system.

In Other Words: When you’re Shamus Harper, you just can’t win.

JG’s Review: Another good episode from this lackluster season. It was fast and furiously funny in certain parts and it had Rhade and Sembler in the same room at the same time many times over. Delicious. This episode also introduced Doyle but try as she might she was just another sci-fi character chick to me in the end. This episode had the best Rhade bits of the season … beating up an old man for whose murder you would be accused of later then sounding genuinely disappointed that he would not be able to do the same to Harper. Priceless.

Julie's Addition: Nice to see that Harper is still Harper. Rhade still has a sense of humor. Then there's Doyle. That outfit. That face. Kill me now.

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie’s Grade: Watch For Rhade

5x04 - Decay Of The Angel:

Episode Synopsis: Doyle learns her real identity with the help of a mysterious visitor.

In Other Words: Meet the replacement Rommie

JG’s Review: Doyle is only on show for one episode and she gets her own episode centered around her but Rhade is on for pretty much a whole season and he doesn’t get squat. There’s no justice. Other than that, it was an episode I really couldn’t get around. That bit with the wig and sword was cute and some of the banter was okay but for the most part it was just another forgettable episode.

Julie's Addition: Doyle-bot! Please kill me! The tesseracting is pretty cool

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie’s Grade: Watch For Rhade

5x05 - The Eschatology Of Our Present:

Episode Synopsis: Beka is offered a mysterious prize and a vision of her past by Seefra’s elusive Virgil Vox

In Other Words: Contradict the past of the storyline of this character to make it confusing enough so no one would get it and she gets a metal box with a broken plate inside. Figures.

JG’s Review: I wouldn’t have minded this episode so much if it weren’t for the fact that it was just so confusing. First off, if it is as they say it is … how did Beka (or Mala rather) leave the planet then? Wasn’t the Route Of Ages supposed to prevent people from getting out? Also, they never explained anything from this episode either. Then there was that whole mess with her dad … or the guy who was supposedly her dad. Oh well - at least something came out of it storyline wise and Rhade looked super hot. I love the leather jacket. I didn’t like the fact that they supposedly killed off Sembler. More on that later.

Julie's Addition: The Mala/Beka thing was a cute tongue-in-cheek acknowledgement of actors playing different roles on the same show. Nice bit about where the paradines came from. Sweet moment with Don S. Davis singing with Beka

Unresolved Issue: Just about everything involving Beka and this whole Mala Proppina nonsense

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Up Slightly

5x06 - When Goes Around (Comes Around):

Episode Synopsis: Dylan is pursued by a mysterious stranger who holds the link between the past and Seefra’s troubled present.

In Other Words: Groundhog Day meet Andromeda … Andromeda meet Groundhog Day

JG’s Review: This episode sucked. Pure and simple. Want to know how I much I disliked it? I changed the channel five minutes in and only watched the end - just in the time for soaking wet Rhade. If the terrible editing wasn’t bad enough, the premise was worse as it was a total rip-off and I was tired of the Dylan playing Casanova in space where he gets to sleep with a random chick of the week and then solves the problem at hand. I thought we were done with that last season. Anyway, the Abyss finally gets mentioned again and while we were lead to believe we were done with it for good since it was apparently not in the system, which was apparently not the case. I apologize for the abuse of the word apparently. Skip this one and go to the next episode. This was a waste of an hour.

Julie's Addition: I don't have anything to add, other than I got a huge headache trying to figure out the whole thing with that woman.

Grade: Thumbs Down
Julie's Grade: Thumbs Down

5x07 - Attempting Screed:

Episode Synopsis: Dylan begins to learn the extent of his new powers as a Paradine.

In Other Words: Screw the synopsis. Watch for the subplot they don’t mention - but I will

JG’s Review: When the word Paradine is in the synopsis, you know it’s not going to be a good sign … and in that respect you would be right. However, that’s only half the episode. It’s the other half you should watch. Fast forward through all that Dylan stuff and just watch for Rhade, Doyle and Harper conning two gullible suckers of warlords. Also you get more Rhade skin and he gets lucky with the skankiest chick on Seefra. Told you she should have held out for ten. Be thankful for Rhade and Harper.

Julie's Addition: Forget Dylan and Flavin. Like JG said, watch Rhade, Doyle and Harper con the two silly warlords. Watch the hat on Lunah's head. Watch the antics of the warlords. Watch Rhade and Lunah. Watch Lunah's hat join Rhade and Lunah. Once you focus on these five people, you're watching a good show.

Unresolved Issue: Some of the Paradine stuff and Flavin never explained their future like he said he would. (What does "attempting screed" mean, and how does it apply to the story in this episode?-Julie)

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Up

5x08 - So Burn The Untamed Lands:

Episode Synopsis: Dylan and Rhade fight to free indentured slaves from a cruel labor camp.

In Other Words: Rhade gets something to do and meets the wrong end of a wooden board

JG’s Review: Another good episode but only because of the bits with Rhade and Harper (sensing a pattern here?). The banter between characters was better than usual in this episode and the scene with the balsa wood board (the one that Steve said left him peeing blood for about a week … it’s what you get for doing your own stunts) was the standout in this episode. Also it was nice for Rhade not to agree with everything Dylan says. Worth the watch.

Julie's Addition: Dylan liberates the oppressed. Harper tries to eat Rhade. They found a power source for the ship ... no, they didn't. Is Doyle still here?

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie’s Grade: Watch For Rhade

5x09 - What Will Be Was Not:

Episode Synopsis: Trance’s misadventure into Seefra-1’s tunnel system exposes the guardian of an ancient Vedran secret.

In Other Words: A bar fight, an accidental discovery and we finally find out one of the reasons why Rhade drinks so much. Let the continuity errors begin!

JG’s Review: At first, I really disliked this episode. It was predictable and rather irritating in certain respects. However, now that I have seen how it plays with the other episodes I don’t find it so bad. That doesn’t necessarily mean I like it either. Some aspects of it were good but mostly they concerned Rhade. That bar fight was fun and his little confession about his family was one of the better moments of the season. It made sense for him to have a wife and kids considering what a Nietzschean specimen he is. I mean, what girl wouldn’t want him? Moving on. Steve also looked great in this episode as well. It’s just a shame about that habit …

Julie's Addition: Nice back story about Rhade's family. Also about the Seefran planets and how they're related to the Vedrans.

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie’s Grade: Watch For Rhade

5x10 - The Test:

Episode Synopsis: The crew is tormented by a mysterious stranger who accuses them of murder.

In Other Words: Andromeda gets dark - literally.

JG’s Review: First the good … this is the episode of the show where Rhade was at his sexiest. I don’t know whether it was the way he looked or the surrounding area or what but he just oozed sexiness in this episode. Steve was fine. Okay, now for the bad…just about everything else. First off, so much for Rhade giving up drinking. He was sucking back on that alcohol like it was holy water and he was a condemned man repenting for his sins. Also, that ending sucked. What a total letdown but now everyone is now smiley and happy again and that’s what really matters. Please. Also, as others stated on this episode … Rhade was acting a bit like a jerk. And how come Dylan was never “tested” … come on! Even he is not that saintly. Oh right … I forgot. This season he is. Get the drool bucket but ignore the rest.

Julie's Addition: Totally pointless episode. No plot advancement. No new info. Irritating cinematography.

Grade: Watch For Rhade (a lot)
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Down

5x11 - Through A Glass Darkly:

Episode Synopsis: An old friend who Harper thought was dead returns to help the crew in a battle for Seefra-5.

In Other Words: Your last name doesn’t have to be Rhade to come back from the dead-but it helps.

JG’s Review: This episode didn’t really contribute much of anything - in fact, it got several things wrong but I won’t go into details. It would also have been nice if Rhade finished off the bad guy of the week but no, Dylan had to do it again. This episode kind of set the tone for several of the episodes to come quality wise. We can also be thankful that they didn’t go back in time. Mediocre at best.

Julie's Addition: Don't get me wrong, I love Hohne. But bring him back and kill him again just to torment Harper? Sadistic

Grade: Watch For Rhade (what little there is of him, that is)
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Down

5x12 - Pride Before The Fall:

Episode Synopsis: A deadly enemy from the past returns with plans to create an elite warrior race.

In Other Words: The episode where they went against everything the show originally created - hell, we’re not even exactly sure it is the character they say it is. Oh yeah, it’s the 100th episode as well.

JG’s Review: Despite the shirtless Rhade and Steve’s best attempts to make this episode watchable, this one will still receive the unqualified thumbs down. This episode was not only the worst of Season Five hands down but in my humble opinion the worst episode of the series. Whoever’s brilliant idea it was to make Beka the Matriarch should be fired … out of a cannon into the sun. There were so many things wrong with this episode it’s insulting - or rather it was like the writers gave us a steaming pile of dung and called it potpourri. I would call it something else but I have to keep it clean. Doesn’t wash. First, it was against the entire mythos of the Nietzscheans to begin with; secondly, it was all wrong storyline wise; thirdly, Drago was supposed to be bi-racial and not some pasty face white boy and finally, I would not put this guy in charge of a tank of sea monkeys. This episode was the writers insulting the fans intelligence, pure and simple. I’m not even going into the scientific flaws. I’ve wasted enough space on this episode except for this - for some big surprise, they really never made good on it since it’s probably not a good idea to blow it ten minutes into the episode. Keith Hamilton Cobb and Robert Hewitt Wolfe have gotten the last laugh after all. After this point you knew Andromeda was not going to get any better - and to top it all off this is the episode where you wish they left Seefra for good. For a 100th episode, it was a lackluster and disappointing effort.

Julie's Addition: Phbltltltlt! Good point: Shirtless Rhade

Unresolved Issue: Where do we start?

Grade: Thumbs way down
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Down

5x13 - Moonlight Becomes You:

Episode Synopsis: When Trance becomes attracted to a mysterious young man from her past, the reunion causes her to begin regaining her memories.

In Other Words: Trance gets a boyfriend and Rhade goes nuts … '

JG’s Review: … but at least he’s wearing that hot leather jacket again. Episode wise, this was lackluster and boring. No pop to it what so ever. Ione looked like a bat and it exposed a gaping technical error. If you look carefully throughout the episodes up to this one, you see TWO moons in the Seefra-1 night sky and yet they say that there’s only one. That’s top quality for you folks. Anyway, watching Rhade go crazy and crawl on the floor was the only good thing about this episode. This episode also started with him kissing Beka’s behind which irritated me to no end. But at least I can take comfort that the guy who played Ione looks hot without all that make up on.

Julie's Addition: I love carnivals. The Carnival of the Sun is a beautiful scene and set. Very refreshing to see bright beautiful things after all the dun and drab this season. Apparently the writers felt the need to make sure Rhade is someone's lapdog. Beka, meet your new puppy.

Unresolved Issue: Geryon. What was the deal with her anyway?

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie’s Grade: Watch For Rhade

5x14 - Past Is Prolix:

Episode Synopsis: Trance sun looms on the edge of the system, threatening to destroy all of Seefra unless the Vedran design can be mended.

In Other Words: Sembler’s back! Well, for one more episode anyway.

JG’s Review: Three things bothered me about this episode, which kept me from enjoying it all together. One: They made this big issue about the consequences for Trance’s action and her possibly leaving and then it ends up like nothing happened. Two: Rhade’s whining and over protectiveness. Yeah, in this episode the impossible happened … I didn’t like Rhade all that much. He was rather irritating and in some points started to act like Tyr. That was why I like Rhade so much in first place - he wasn’t Tyr. Hell, even RHW intended for that to be the case. At least he looked hot. And my most grating rant about this episode … number Three: Sembler. As much as I enjoyed seeing him again, why bother to bring him back at all if they were just going to kill him off all over again? It was rather asinine. All in all a total letdown.

Julie's Addition: Yet another "What's the point?" episode. Is that Vedran tunnel guard still here?

Funny things: Dogboys and their master.

Grade: Thumbs Down
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Down

5x15 - The Opposites Of Attraction:

Episode Synopsis: A woman from Dylan’s forgotten past returns to claim him at any cost

In Other Words: The episode that nominates Dylan Hunt for the “Biggest Douche In The Universe” Award. Sigh … Fatal Attraction meet Andromeda. Andromeda…well, you get it.

JG’s Review: I believe someone else stated my opinion for this episode best by saying - well, I would not have put it this far but this sounds better - “it was so bad that it made me want to dig my eyes out with a fork”. Ouch. That’s bad. Another bad sign: killing minutes by showing clips of past episodes in the middle of the episode for no reason. Okay, we can understand Dylan being a playboy with the chick of the week but they were normal human beings (more or less) … but a celestial avatar? Yeah right. At least they could have cast somebody else to play Marida or have Jill Pierce be the stalker instead. By the way, no more sex scenes unless Steve is in them. Please?

Julie's Addition: This episode has porn in it. Undisguised, obvious porn. Yes, Andromeda has sunk that low.

Grade: Thumbs Down
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Way Down

5x16 - Saving Light From A Black Sun:

Episode Synopsis: The crew travels to the core of Seefra’s sputtering sun on a treacherous repair mission.

In Other Words: Don’t fly into a sun unless you know what you are doing.

JG’s Review: This is where the show and the season started to pick up a little bit with the quality of the episodes. It was a well thought out episode except for the fact Dylan saved the day again but at least he needed help to do it. It resolved some issues and created new ones-but that new issue was not exactly creative or original. Evil twins are so last century.

Julie's Addition: Nice trip into the sun. At last, something new and interesting about the Seefra system.

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie’s Grade: Watch For Rhade

5x17 - Totaled Recall: See Gaheris Rhade’s episodes section.

5x18 - Quantum Tractate Delirium:

Episode Synopsis: Rommie turns on the crew after she is rebuilt to help evacuate Seefra’s planets

In Other Words: The bot is back and Rhade not only falls off the wagon, he chops up the wood and uses it for kindling.

JG’s Review: I had some bad feelings about how this episode would turn out but I was pleasantly surprised by how good it was. Both plots involving Rommie and Rhade were very good and the episode was entertaining. Evil Trance was a change of pace that was somewhat welcomed and to see Rhade back in a vulnerable position again made him more human. Steve looked hot and played drunk very well. It was also good to see Lexa Doig back once again as the past few episodes have shown how much the lack of her presence was felt. You just can’t beat the original.

Julie's Addition: The fights between Doyle and Rommie were funny. Is Rhade still following Beka around?

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Up

5x19 - One More Day’s Light:

Episode Synopsis: The evacuation of Seefra-5 faces deadly peril when religious fanatics resist the crew’s efforts to save them

In Other Words: The closest thing to a Rhade centered episode as you are likely to get
JG’s Review: Despite its flaws, I still consider this to be the best episode of Season Five. Seeing Rhade shirtless yet again didn’t hurt either. But it was the depth of his character that really shined in this episode. There was a lot of Rhade angst and snarling but also a lot of enticement and tenderness as well. I’m going to stop now before I get all mushy. That was the good … now for the bad: Was there supposed to be some sort of romantic subplot between Rhade and Ashael? Because if there was I didn’t see it. Secondly, Dylan had to save the day yet again. It should have been Rhade’s moment and it would have made more sense if it had been. Someone said that he was becoming a damsel in distress and it was getting rather tiring for everyone. Lastly, where did those Nietzscheans come from? They could at least explain how they got there. Other than that it was still a standout episode. It’s just a shame that it would be the last one …

Julie's Addition: Surely the former Tarazed Admiral Rhade must've recognized the woman who looks exactly like his former Triumvir who tried to frame him for treason. No? Why am I not surprised? He even lets her annoint his bare skin. Nice story about Burma and his people. Well executed.

Unresolved Issue: Those darn Nietzscheans

Grade: Thumbs Up
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Up

5x20 - Chaos And The Stillness Of It:

Episode Synopsis: The crew scrambles to rescue Trance and Harper against the ticking clock of the Vedran sun.

In Other Words: The beginning of the end … and the beginning of the Star Wars references …

JG’s Review: … which automatically takes this episode down a point. Blatantly ripping off other stuff is not cool with me. There wasn’t much in this episode anyway. I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again - Rhade should have killed Burma. It would have made a lot more sense. Since it didn’t happen, the streak of good episodes ended with this one. Also, you knew that the Abyss was the big secret. At least the banter between Rhade and Dylan was fun, which was the only good thing about this episode.

Julie's Addition: Burma tortured Rhade. Burma's men tortured Harper. Come the showdown with Burma, are Rhade and Harper anywhere to be seen? No! It's the Dylan and the Babes show. What happened to the writers between the last episode and this?

Grade: Thumbs Down
Julie’s Grade: Thumbs Down

5x21 - The Heart Of The Journey, Part One:

Episode Synopsis: Trance’s family of avatars has declared war on the Abyss, but at the cost of every life in the three galaxies

In Other Words: It’s the end of the three galaxies (and the show) as we know it … and we feel fine now that there are finally out of Seefra! Sing with me now!

JG’s Review: Thank goodness that they are out of Seefra. But there were a lot of things wrong with this episode and the next one. Weren’t they outlaws when they left? If only four days passed I highly doubt they would have been welcomed back with open arms. Couldn’t they at least have the Magog come back considering they were the big bad of the whole show? When did Earth become such a big deal to Dylan? And most importantly, why wasn’t Rhade wearing the Double Helix band? Speaking of that … as sweet as it was to have him back with his family … story wise it didn’t make any sense. They never explained where they were the whole time or made him believe that they were dead and after meeting the misses, you kind of wished that he stayed a widower. They could at least cast someone who didn’t act like a zombie and talked like someone on Valium. Still, at least he got some sort of happy ending - which is more than could be said for Harper. This was better than the second part which I will explain why now …

Julie's Addition: Lots of Trances. Lots of hugs.

Unresolved Issue: No Magog and explanation why the crew was no longer on the run

Grade: Watch For Rhade
Julie’s Grade: Watch For Rhade

5x22 - The Heart Of The Journey, Part Two:

Episode Synopsis: The final battle for the Known Worlds begins as the Nietzscheans move on Tarazed while The Abyss pursues the Andromeda and her crew.

In Other Words: They blow up the Earth and make us wish for a spin-off that centers on Rhade and Harper (goodness knows they deserve it).

JG’s Review: Four and a half minutes … four and a half bloody minutes. That’s how long Rhade was in the final episode. For someone who has more or less been on the show since the beginning, it was a real shaft. Couldn’t they at least have him on the ship when they were chasing the Abyss? Anyway, my bet was they were planning to kill him off but then they kept him alive for the possible spin-off potential … at least I can hope that’s the case. That’s not the only thing that blew about this episode. It would have worked if it were only a season finale but for a series finale it was disappointing. They blew up the Earth, man! That’s where I kept all my stuff! Also, it felt flat and rushed like they were trying to squeeze everything they could into one hour and left a lot to be explained. And what a cheesy way to destroy the Abyss … if he was Virgil Vox why would he give them the means to destroy him? My theory on Rhade proved correct on this episode - the more Rhade, the better it is. The less Rhade, the worse it is. At least we have the memories - and the fan fiction. Better luck next time.

Julie's Addition: Yay. The train wreck of a 5th season is finally over. Hope y'all enjoyed the Dylan Hunt show.

Unresolved Issues: The Sabra-Jaguar Pride … weren’t they on the side on the Commonwealth? When did the Nietzscheans side with the Abyss? What made them do it? Everything else that was not covered over the history of the series that piled up quite a lot.

Grade: Watch For Rhade (all five minutes of him)

Julie’s Grade: Watch For Rhade and Just For the Heck of It

Well…that’s all, folks. I’d like to thank Julie for her contribution, Meretean for the suggestion to add the pictures (and for a couple of the pictures), the good people at Andromeda Web (http: // for a small chunk of the caps, Snoopy and Sybille from the forum for the Season 5 pics, Lady Maigrey and the official Andromeda site for the rest and most importantly Steve for causing me never to leave my house. Here’s to hoping we see you again real soon.


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